Things I have eaten in Amsterdam

Before I started planning this trip, I couldn't have named any sort of Dutch food except Dutch carrots (they just call them carrots here). I now know a lot more than I did then.

The major food group is bread.

The second most important food group is also bread. Then, once as at least 50% of the meal is made of bread, cheese is added.

Now, as much as I approve of a city being so obsessed with cheese that they have cheese shops everywhere, I'm no so sure I'm not so sure I'm comfortable with using cheese (that will later be sold as food) as street art, and especially not during a heat wave.

One of the first foods I tried was bitterballen. I knew they were deep-fried balls of meat, and a classic bar snack. I was not, however, expecting the meat to be in goo form, but they were surprisingly tasty 

I also tried the fast-food version

which I got from FEBO, a chain place where you don't have to talk to people, you just put money in the slot and open the little door and take out your hamburger that was cooked who knows when:

I have to say that apart from the shape, I couldn't tell the difference between the two. It's either a very traditional recipe that's followed faithfully by everyone, or there's a supplier somewhere who has a monopoly selling vats of the filling that are just shaped differently by different outlets.

Beyond that, pancakes are definitely a Dutch thing. Caro and Jesse took me to a place called Pancakes! which has a great name, but a horribly long queue out the front. Possibly not worth the wait (not much is), but the spread was pretty darn impressive, and they give you a little clog keyring when you pay your bill. 

For some reason, the Dutch are also really into Belgian fries. And for some, even more inexplicable, reason I chose to have curry sauce with my belgian fries. This was not a wise move, because apparently "curry" in this part of the world means "really sweet BBQ sauce". And this is from Mannekin Pis (you know the sculpture of the little boy peeing that is one of the main tourist attractions in Brussels? Seeing people urinate in the street always makes me hungry, so I think it was a good move to name a chip shop after it.), supposedly the best place for frites in Amsterdam.

Other food highlights include the time that it took three of us and about half an hour to open a bottle of wine, because we're all Australians who are used to screw caps. I don't know how I'm going to get by in Europe, I really don't.

Finally, I learned that after days of eating cheesy bready fried objects, attempting to "be healthy" by ordering a wholegrain croissant instead of a regular one is not effective.

Just because it's in the shape of a croissant does not make it a croissant. It makes it an overly fancy lump of bread that tastes like disappointment.